Day -1: Getting warmed up.

I'm on my way to bed the night before my Peak Condition Project begins. I'm excited to jump into things, and nervous. I'm anxious for the same reasons I get nervous about working out in a gym setting: I know how I look, and I'm fearful of the judgments people might make about me. That fear--of being the fat kid in a group of finely-tuned hardbodies--almost kept me from joining the Project altogether.

But then I thought, well, let's suppose I do turn out to be the fat kid in a group of hardbodies. So what? First, I spend way too much time being concerned about how I'm measuring up to others--so facing down my fear in a bold and public way is probably a good exercise for me. Second, 90 days of focusing on wellness efforts with a group of similarly-focused folks is going to be a powerful experience, no matter what the visual differences might be between me and anyone else. And third, I recall feeling just as nervous about being judged by others when I weighed half what I do now... which means it's probably not actually all about my size (and that I spend way too much time feeling afraid of how others might be assessing me--I realize).

So, I told my fear it could suck it, and I signed up.

But being open about this process is intimidating, I admit. My instinct is to retreat inward, not share outward, so this Project is now and will continue testing me and pressing on my comfort zones in many ways: being open, feeling vulnerable, facing down long-held fears. And we're only cracking open Day 1! I sense a challenging and potential-rich journey ahead.

Off to bed. See you at Day 1!